Resolutions. Commitments. Intentions. Life-changing decisions to change your life!
The end of one year and the beginning of the next have become annual occasions to highlight personal failure and seek out pathways to success. The message is always that we’re not doing enough in some aspects of our lives and we’re doing too much in others. We’ve internalized the false notion that our lives are endlessly out of balance and that January 1 is the day to change all that.
But you know what? You’re doing fine. You are.
You may not be doing well, but you’re doing fine.
You may want to change things about yourself. You may want to accomplish new goals, be more ambitious, be kinder, find love, exercise more, etc. That’s great!
But you’re also doing fine right now. And convincing yourself that you’re not doing fine—that you’re a failure, that everything that’s wrong is your fault, that you’re not as good as other people—just makes everything harder.
I’m not trying to gloss over how difficult life can be and how unequally we experience those difficulties. I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t take responsibility for your actions and choices.
However, I am saying that you don’t need to compound life’s challenges with an overwhelming sense of failure and a doomed-before-you-even-begin resolution to drastically change yourself.
By all means, set goals, make changes. But be realistic. Start small, break big things down into smaller pieces, and make progress each day.
But don’t spend your time convincing yourself that every day between now and the day you reach your goal is a lost cause. It’s not. You’re trying. You’re getting there. You’re living. You’re doing fine.